Who cheats more men or woman?

 The Lust in Translation Book by Pamela Druckerman was certainly fascinating.

I had a feeling that men cheated more than woman, but I didn’t expect the results to be so one-sided. One might even presume lust or sex is one of the man’s greatest weaknesses (for men and woman in general, I’d say food and nostalgia are some notable ones as well). However, woman do it too and it does scare me a little: thinking about getting cheated on while married. That would hurt, I rarely cry, but I’d probably cry in that scenario. 

As I get deeper into the book, I’m astonished at how people back in the day were getting down: especially those living in the 1950’s to 1960’s. They were indeed some freaky individuals and the New jersey ladies in their 70’s, surely had some fascinating stories- one of them expressed she had three husbands. It’s almost as if it was a norm back in the day. Furthermore, Druckerman encapsulates the  collection of findings in adultery for athletes, politicians, and celebrities. The most striking one was in the 1990’s when it was discovered Roads Minister Stephen Morris had five mistresses. Flashforward to today, although monogamy is now a traditional common practice, it’s not like people aren’t living the same lives as the those back in the day were. In particular, it’s very prevalent with celebrities and those with high incomes.

(https://ifstudies.org/blog/americas-generation-gap-in-extramarital-sex)

Moreover, it was a revelation to me that the Philippines and the U.S were one of the most faithful countries. The United States being one of the most faithful countries just don't sound right. I feel like cheating no matter the stage of the relationship happens all the time here. However, Druckerman went in depth relating that marital infidelity is a rare occurrence in the United States: “Only 16% of adults admit they’ve had an affair in their lifetime. In a given year just 3.5% of adults will commit adultery.” I don’t know about that one. I feel like they should interview people while simultaneously using a lie detector test. As for the Philippines being a faithful country, that was a surprise as well. I never really analyzed my people like that-I happen to be Filipino. Though, it sounds about right. Like looking at my family and myself, I recall no cheaters. On the contrary, Druckerman contended that Russia is a country that ranks high in infidelity acceptance. More specifically she acknowledged Russia ranks in the top three.  Druckerman interviewed people from ten different countries and a Russian marital therapist explained, “Affairs should be obligatory, because they make for stronger marriages” (316). Later Druckerman reinforced that logic including statistics in St. Petersburg, a city in Russia. The study demonstrated high rates of infidelity in both men and woman: 55 percent of men and 26 percent of women admitted to having extra sexual relationships. 

To be honest, for someone who’s very inexperienced with romantic relationships, the material was slightly frightening. Just thinking about the possibilities of getting betrayed whether emotional infidelity or sexual infidelity. Especially the thought of someone else having sexual relations with my significant other. My girl -hypothetically speaking- catching feelings for another man would hurt almost as equally, but I feel like that can potentially be changed. My girl making love with another guy though, -you can’t change that one- would hurt, like another dude was inside …. man, it’s tough just thinking about it. Even if you got kids and you married, you still not safe. There’s a lot of factors that play into it but I don’t even know if I would take her back. Best case scenario we remain as a couple is if we’ve been in a long-term relationship and she still love me. She better know though she on punishment, like don’t expect to get freaky with me anytime soon. 

To my audience what would hurt you more: Your partner committing emotional infidelity or sexual infidelity? 

• Fun fact: 60% of men said sex would upset them more while 83% of women explained their spouse developing an emotional attachment for someone else would be more distressful (Buss et al., 1999; Buunk, Angleitner, Oubaid, & Buss, 1996; Wiederman & Kendall, 1999).